Though I normally don’t indulge in anger I allowed myself the rare treat of getting worked up after first reading that calling someone fat has become more offensive than calling them worthless scum and then Wiki-walking myself to the Anti-fat Bias and The Thin Ideal articles. The relief I couldn’t help but feel for knowing I inhabited the safe section of the human form spectre and was therefore exempt from being harassed on the account of my weight only served to further my aggravation. I’m not much into enjoying the thanks-god-it’s-not-me sentiment as I find it all too similar to the toxic schadenfreude for my emotional comfort.
But seriously, why is it suddenly so wrong to be chubby? Not so long ago, some meat on your bones was considered a plus; a woman with ample curves was seen as appealing while a man with a nicely-rounded belly was perceived to be well-off and a guy to be reckoned with. At least where I live, there hardly seems to be any shortage of sayings to this effect. An entertainingly inebriated chap once told me he preferred a heavily-set lady to a lean one any day. (Why? Because, according to this wise fellow, the skinny one is liable to be concentrating on sucking her tummy in even under the sheets.) Continue reading Methinks: What’s your problem, it’s not like they ate YOUR cookies →
Your whole attitude to life could be summed up by ‘You can do whatever you want with me but you’d better not interfere with my driving!’ – that having been said, here are some sure giveaways as to your Slovenian roots:
– Your car is worth as much as your house or more; if you’re renting, your monthly car payment exceeds your rent.
– If you see an expensive car following the traffic rules, you consider it a waste of a fine vehicle and start fantasizing about all the rubber you’d be burning if you could afford a car like that.
– If you see an expensive car breaking the traffic rules you consider it proof that all rich people are inconsiderate thieving bastards who think they can get away with anything and could sure use a good whipping. Continue reading Regardless of what your mother said, you most definitely are Slovenian if →
– You would never consider moving in order to land a better job.
– You will, however, backpack, hitchhike, climb, crawl and paddle your way from the Arctic to Antarctica and back just for fun.
– When abroad, you can never avoid running into your fellow nationals no matter how secluded your destination may be because they’re everywhere.
– Each time you encounter your fellow countrymen anywhere outside of your national borders you pretend to be glad to see them but in reality you consider your trip a failure and swear to seek out an even remoter place next time.
– You go to the Croatian coast each summer despite knowing it has one of the highest numbers of your fellow nationals per square foot on record and then complain under your breath about everybody around you speaking your language and feel like somebody robbed you of your holiday experience.
– You don’t necessarily go out of your way to make people from other former Yugoslav republics feel particularly welcome in your country but if you happen upon them abroad you couldn’t be happier and you’ll get drunk together and reminisce about the good old Yugoslavia until you jointly pass out under the table. Continue reading Tell-tale signs you might be Slovenian, Part II →
You might be Slovenian if:
– You own a car, a house and some land and you’re always complaining about being underprivileged.
– Whenever somebody visits you apologise profusely for your house being such a mess despites the fact the whole place is next to sterile with no clutter in sight.
– No matter how broke you claim to be you seem to have little problem finding money for high-end sports equipment.
– You claim to have no money while going out for drinks every night and taking seaside vacations and ski trips several times a year.
– You believe a deep tan is a sign of health and athleticism and feel obligated to drop hints to this effect around fair-skinned individuals.
– You believe your politicians must be some sort of an experiment gone wrong and are under no circumstances to be considered a reflection of your national character. Continue reading Tell-tale signs you might be Slovenian, Part I →
Pa se res je 😀
Jamranje je nas nacionalni sport in tako dobri smo v njem, da postane clovek hvalezen za lastno mizerijo, ce vec kot pet minut poslusa Slovenca srednjega sloja razlagati, kako njemu res ni lahko.