Sunday Report: The weirdest things happening in Slovenia (March 16-22)

We seem to have had a minor spike in violent crime, like a son punching his innkeeper mum down the stairs with fatal consequences, we’ve seen a stabbing or two and sadly a young woman died when a guy handling a pistol shot her by mistake. (The last one makes me wonder what kind of upbringing do people have nowadays; one of the first things I remember my father teaching me was, don’t do anything stupid with a gun but if you absolutely cannot resist the temptation make sure the muzzle isn’t pointing toward any living creature.) Such things have the power to shock us natives because we haven’t grown accustomed to blood and gore yet, but the average foreigner would probably consider this a slow week, at least judging from the stories my foreign-born friends have been telling me. For example, the one about the event that spurred two of my English friends into leaving Spain for Slovenia; they expatriated to Spain as apparently all English people do sooner or later. One day they came back to their RV to find a group of suspicious-looking individuals crouching behind it. Halfway through the process of politely encouraging the strange folk to move away from their vehicle, they suddenly had bullets zipping past their ears and punching holes into the RV’s side. The crouching posse responded by springing out their own guns and spraying bullets at the police special forces who were shooting at them from behind the English couple; the latter hit the ground like there was no tomorrow and waited for the shootout to play out, grabbed their passports and hightailed it half way through Europe to make a new home for themselves here. For good or for worse, your chances of finding yourself in the middle of a gun battle between the police and criminals in Slovenia are about the same as being abducted by aliens and crowned as their sovereign, mostly because our criminals feel so perfectly safe here they seldom bother to carry firearms.

What else happened? Our banks – sometimes affectionately called personal piggy-banks by the long-suffering taxpayer as this is how a number of our high-flyers have been using them, and now the rest of us are stuck with paying back the loans they scoff at repaying – won a Constitutional Court case and now they won’t have to reveal who took out the bad loans we will have the honour of financing, which means we won’t be able to egg their houses and key their cars to get at least some satisfaction from the whole thing. Supposedly the reasoning behind the CC’s decision was a data privacy issue or something like that; couldn’t be bothered to read it. One might feel tempted to blast the Constitutional Court for their ruling but at least my lazy understanding is that the CC did exactly what it was supposed to and struck down an unconstitutional motion for disclosure of information. An almost identical thing transpired with our newly-found pleasure of snooping through our Supervisor system to learn the distinguished names of those who had been pigging out on the taxpayers’ money beyond all measures of good taste. The lesson in both cases is quite simple: the powers that be will always find a way to pull the cloth over your eyes and protect themselves and their buddies. Our leaders promised us that we would finally get to learn who has been stealing and generally leading our country to ruin but they conveniently forgot to consult a half-competent lawyer on how to do that without running afoul of the constitution. Now they can say they tried to do the right thing but the big bad Constitutional Court nipped it in the bud. It was all for show and they never meant for anything to change because they’ve been benefitting too much from the current muddled state of affairs. On a positive note, I suppose this must mean our country is doing reasonably well; the only countries where one gets to see profound changes are the ones who have no choice left and I guess we aren’t quite there yet.

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